Quickie

i happened to read the book while i was spending my time in the library last year,




and it was good.





and from every good book


comes a movie.








the book was good, but the movie was great.



i've watched it for 3-4 times and i still whimper everytime i watch the movie.

i think you guys should watch it, it's so blardy touching. :))))

oucch. been spending so much nowadays and my income are too little. it should be enough to cover all my expenses since they've already increase my paycheck to rm5 per hours, but starting from July, they gonna minus it for the EPF and SOCSO, leaving me so little moolah to spend. oh shit ~

and by the way,

there would be a Malaysian Open Tennis Tournament (ATP World Tour) starting from September to October and famous tennis players like Fernando Verdasco, Robin Soderling, Gael Monfils...etc would be there.

i'm gonna volunteer myself for the ATP WT.

hope my name will be short listed and pass the interview. :))))

in a heartbeat

sitting alone in the middle of the night,
feeling slightly ignorant and tired.

but in a heartbeat, everything stopped;
and i suddenly felt the world run away in a flash.

people and cars,
they pass me by without noticing;

so many things happening,
all at once.

one event has passed,
and another is just around the corner.

is it just my mind playing tricks on me,
or is it my turn to feel it now?


little things are getting on me now. they sink their tiny teeth into my head and it hurts.


i was having such a hard time today, trying to figure things out and trying to make sense of the things that have happened. i reached a fleeting moment where i cried in the shower but i stopped myself soon after pushing myself too hard.


it's... insane.


Keith Urban's Tonight I Wanna Cry, so emo =(

Alone in this house again tonightI got the TV on,
the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

(Chorus:)I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

心真的碎了。

Time = Life

time brings unexpected things,
and along the way we grow as we travel on.
most of the time the roads seems all the same,
but sometimes we venture into those that are unfamiliar;
and we will find ourselves at the crossroad,
looking; staring;
deciding which path to follow.
we are young,
still naive and innocent, as it were.
but we are not afraid to learn
to get our hands dirty;
and clean them up by ourselves,
to break our own hearts and heal it all over again.


somewhere in between,
things can get us down.
and when life runs off course,
it turns us;
changes us.
sometimes when we steer into a different path,
we are meant to undergo changes
and become better along the way.
and from little steps, we learn.
first we are afraid to take the step
but slowly, as time goes by,
we get used to it.


we may be afraid;
we may be challenged,
and yet we move on
and we try our best to get to the top.
the steps along the road is long and winding,
but we take them on by the horns/



and when times get dark
always know that the light is at the end of the tunnel
and things will eventually be okay.
don't hang on;
let go....

and life will find its way back to you.





swt...well, life is getting hectic now. Especially when mom and dad left for US last Wednesday and yes...i gotta do the housechores and the cooking :) Damn tired..

hehe..waiting for their return on June and gimme lotsa postcards and pressie :)


love ya mom and dad, muacks

"Early" Morning post =)

Hello people, it's4.58am now, and yes...i'm still awake for some god-damned reason.


i'm amazed at how time passes us by so fast and without warning sometimes.

somehow, thinking back on those short 3 months that i've spent, things really have changed for me; the new experience i've gained, the new things i've seen, the new people i've made friends with...and not to forget, the new lesson i've learned.
Don't be a pushover anymore, gracelim ~


sometimes it just feels as if we're running out of time. and it makes me wish that i could freeze the moment.


but

then again,

maybe it's better this way so people could learn to treasure their memories more. :)




kthanksbye,

too tired already want to pengsan kenot tahan...T_T

random

in some way,

i feel the most overwhelming disappointment inside of me.

somehow,

that tugging at the bottom of my heart isn't the least satisfying at all.

i'm sitting here alone,
with the door locked and windows closed.

i'm sitting here alone,
staring at the bookshelf doors
as they creak in faint screeches
to the light pressure from the winds that came from the ceiling fan.

i'm sitting here,

wondering



All the things i feel i need to say
i can't explain in any other way.

i've been doing some thinking, quite frankly i find that life is just the way it is. things happen for a reason, we'd just have to live with it, you know ? it's life, and life's just the way it is.

as i'm sitting here,
i wonder if there are others out there,

going through the same things as i am.

but i suppose that, for the time being,
i'm just going to have make do with what i have.

even if it's not what i've wished for,

i should be blessed that i've even gotten this far.





ps: wish you rot in hell, i mean it....you dumbass !!

morning blue

as soon as i laid in bed, i went out like a light.

i don't even remember dreaming.


i woke up to the increasing pace of the sounds of my heart racing,
and walked toward the window in my room and looked outside.

i never bother to look, but something seemed to be calling me, so i looked and i saw the crisp morning light shining on the cream-colored walls outside. i haven't seen anything like this for a long while, and sometimes i wonder if i ever were myself anymore.

so i closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to remember....


************************************************


sometimes, it is the bitter parts of life that remind me to cherish the better times more. i would constantly remind myself that the emotions i feel at this point will only last for a moment, and sooner or later something beautiful will happen.

so i wait;

i wait for that moment to take my breath away.


i remember a friend once told me that things are always never, NEVER as bad as they seem to be. i do believe her but at times things make life seem so unpredictably insane and it is hard for me to hang on to that theory. i smiled then at the thought, knowing that maybe this is what they call LIFE.

i don't expect things to go as i planned it to be, and i know that disappointment will always be part of it no matter how much we all wish it not to.


i placed my arms on the cold stoned wall, feeling the chill of loneliness that lingered on its surface. A sad smile found its way onto the edges of my lips and thus formed a smile.


at times i wonder how i can smile when i am feeling so blue.


***************************************************

anyway, it is official that i am starting my part-time job in KUMON tomorrow. hope everything would be fine, i definitely do not want any parents coming after me for child abusing. =p

Get Well Soon :(

I have a history of migraine headaches since my younger days.

It's all started on the top of my head(towards the back) and went down the back of my head. The pain was so severe and you would actually want to bang your head on the wall to make it feel better. Panadol was 1st the medication that helped me to reduce the pain but eventually my body turned out to be PANADOL-RESISTANT, not much help now. =_=

I could spend the whole day in terrible forehead pain, dizzy and chilled. All I can do is try to sleep through most of it, but it doesn't work this way now....currently suffering from insomnia.

Migraines are real and they are terribly painful. They are more painful than many people can tolerate. People who don’t have migraines don’t understand what you go through and tend to make fun of you.

yea.

I am jelly.

look @ the amount of panadols i took these few days....can really kill me :(


for the pain :'(

Thank you :)

The Matter of Death

sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you always expect it to be there, because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't.

but then one day you will feel something else, something that feels wrong, only because it's so unfamiliar;

and in that moment you might realize that you're happy.



we take life for granted.
we do get bored, we missed out the finer aspects of life, and keep chasing and running elusive goals, all sets by others for us !!

and all the while, the time slipped through it. When we are ready to enjoy, old age and death face us. Soemtimes, even before we are ready.


Perharps, I have to learn to live up my life before i..........(continue for me)

Perfection ?

Nobody is perfect in this world...but why don't we realize this fact ?
We spend most of out life in being perfect, where someone else defines the term perfect.

We fail to realize what makes us feel happy, sad.
We constrain ourselves so as to adhere to what society says is good or bad.

Our lives are guided by the norms set by our society. If anyone of us tries to go against there, they are said to be mad.



sometimes when you're young, you think nothing can hurt you.
it's like being invincible.

your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans.

big plans.



to find your perfect match; the one that completes you...
but as you get older, you realize it's not always that easy.

It's not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. At the end, when you're looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you.

you want to believe that you're leaving something good behind.

you want it all to have mattered.

The Real Meaning of My Life =)

Our life can be so unpredictable, sometimes.

It's like taking a ride on a roller coaster, ups and downs...ups and downs.

People often forgot about themselves when they are at the peak of something, but when it comes to the down slope in life, they tend to forget the real meaning of life and simply let the years flow under the bridge.

Don't be influenced by what other people say.
We have to put lots of energy and enthusiasm into achieving our objective, and we are the only person responsible for our choice.



My dear blog reader,

we only get to live once...

so instead of doing something silly and unproductive,
why don't we just immerse ourselves in the river of life,
free our minds from all the distraction,
learn about the true meaning of life as we proceed forward
and live to it fully.



PS: Never let those that are evil blind us from those that are good.

At Times

i like it when good things happen.

i like it when people smile at me.

i like it when the most unexpected happy things jump right in your embrace, just like that.

i like being random.

i like sharing laughter with a group of friends.

i like being close to just that one person.

i like doing things for people and seeing them smile.

i like it when i know there's an extra sparkle in the way they look at me.

i like it when people actually care.

i like the way people laugh out loud. A big, hearty laughter.

i like reading Paulo Coelho and indulging in the night breeze that comes blowing from my window.

i like finding out new things that make me feel better.

i like realizing that there will always be someone out there, no matter where you are.






doesn't it make you wonder sometimes how life can be so unpredictable?

Breaking down at the break of dawn

I haven't been like myself for the past few days. I'm feeling waves of emotions like i've never felt before and it is neww to me. I smile when deep inside i know that my heart has been clenched and squeezed out of its breath.

somehow i think i'm in denial.

I finished my first Paulo Coelho today and i'll get my second Coelho after CNY. Just after going through my first two short stories in the book, i feel inspired. I have not read anything like this. I couldn't believe my own naked eyes as i read line after line of perfect words strung together into a beautiful poetic sentences. As the sentences merge together to form the paragraphs, the paragraphs form the whole story, it takes my breath away.

It's as if Coelho have captured my heart, my soul and eventually turned them into words.

Something really big happened to me this year. I wouldn't exactly say it's most beautiful thing that happened in my life, but it definitely has given me an impact that is bigger than i've expected it to be. At first i thought i could handle it. I thought i could push through whatever life brought upon me.

But seemingly i have failed; i blamed myself repeatedly as the silent tears stream down my cheeks and burn my skin.

The pain seeped in more profoundly now, and i can feel it puncturing the very last of my emotions, tearing it into oblivion. It is something beautiful because i thought i could finally let someone in; yet it is something that's broken because what's left of me is shattered and torn.

As i sit here, i will continue to dwell into another world, the world where no one can harm me and i am my own master of fate - in the world of coelho's books.

The People

in the series of events that happen in our daily lives, there is bound to be a number of people who leave the deepest impressions that would live on forever in our memories; may it be the ones who break the first smile at us on the public bus on the way home, or the ones who take the initiative to start a friendly conversation that eventually leads to a few lunches together; the ones who willingly hold out their hands to us when we're in need, or the ones who stood by us through the thick and thin.
we often categorize those people we meet in many different ways - most of us call them "Friends".


i've managed 5 years of middle school. and even though those 5 years weren't the sweetest years of my life, i would never trade anything for the experiences i've gained.

i remember first graduating from primary school and i thought: next year, i'll be in middle school. i bet it's just like primary school, but maybe tougher.

and i was right. it was tougher - but not in the ways of how i imagined it to be. although my primary school days are a far cry, i can still tell you the little differences of it from middle school if asked.

but the one obvious thing that sets them apart is the different kinds of people that we meet in there.




there are so many things about middle school that i don't like, but despite everything that's happened (growing up, learning about friendship, understanding oneself, etc.), i'm still going to miss it here, especially the people i have come to know and love.

middle school is a risky place to be in, and depending on the people whom we choose to hang out with, it molds us into who we are when we step out of our comfort zone and into society. some people might come out as straight A students in primary school but end up dropping out halfway through high; and there are those who might start out failing everything when they first entered high school but excel at the end in the most amazing ways.

i'm lucky to say that i made it through with the best people i could ever ask for. they might not exactly the smartest students in school but they are still a bunch of the most interesting yet. : )



looking back, i wish it'd all stay as it is. but eventually we have to move forward in life, and somewhere between the lines of staying and leaving, we're bound to be separated from the ones we're closest to. maybe to some, it wouldn't make much of a difference; but for most of us (and i'm pretty sure of this), it's one of the hardest thing to do.




thanks for everything, you guys. be it the little things that you have done for me that made me smile or the big things that can't make me thank you enough. without all of you, my life would've been a lot tougher to go through, i'm sure.

so my deepest gratitude, to those who have crossed my path in life. be it in real life, over my blog (which i am really thankful and blessed for), or even online. because of all of you, i've cried a lot less and laughed a lot more. without all of you, i wouldn't be the girl that i am today.

besides,

what do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?

: )




Regular class starting on the coming Monday. and i love the timetable too much.

2009

in about 9 hours time, i will be off for my vacay ! :D


okay so the Gяaceliм™ Toilet Bowl blog would seem a little bit...well...DEAD for a while due to the blog author's vacay to:






*drum rolls please*

SINGAPORE ! :D

Singapore here i come, babeh!

whee!

and i'm bringing my iPod Touch to Singapore because well quite frankly it will totally and absolutely KILL ME if i couldn't MSN for a long long long time (3 days is very long for me ok..)

hehe.

on a side note,

Uni gonna start on the 5th of January.

And I'm going for a course which i have no interest at all !
Bachelor of Business Administration(hons)


what to do?


Just keep me in your prayer lah...

Happy NEW Year 2009 to everyone !!!

random post larh....

At this exact moment,

people around the world are going through something.

Some are working, some are spending time with their loved ones,

some are happy, some are sad;

some are laughing their hearts out, while others are crying in the corner.

sometimes,

people do things without reason

and they always end up hurting themselves in the process.

teach me how to overcome this feeling ?

because i can't do it alone.


----------------------------------------------
gracelim is super pokkai now.

and high fever also.


- so suay larh... -

Cranky like an old hag.

Tomorrow i am officially sitting for Moral Studies finals......

and i am still sitting here blogging.
(celaka budak ni kan) hehe.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

i feel so grouchy and emotional all of the sudden, it feels literally interesting that i could be so grateful about life one moment and suddenly become so annoyed with the complications of life the next.

i dwell in other people's cries for help so i don't have to think about my own.

i drown myself with time-consuming things so i don't have to think about my problems.

i kill time thinking about people *cough cough* so i don't have to think about uni.

i wonder about the complications of relationships between people so i don't have to think about my own relationships with those around me.

i crank up the volume on my lappie so i don't have to hear what other people have to say.

i scream silently in my head so i don't have to deal with the silence that bothers me with questions.

sigh....

it feels really irritating when the problems about everything come flooding back into my head. i block them away, pushing them to the back of my head so that i won't have to worry to much but occasionally, it's days like these that it comes back to haunt me.

sometimes life isn't always pretty.but on the other hand, no one ever said that it was going to be easy.

grrr. if you need me i'll be in the corner devouring hennesey and vodka.

(they gonna kill me...)

November 26,2008....

A wonderful and happy day for all SAM March Intake Students.

BBQ + Water Fight + FOOD = unlimited fun

Barbeque-ing under the rain....

Water fight begins....[target: Miss Sukhveer]

Raining....still can have water fight ~

Look at the DEVIL behind the photo...

Thanks...

Walao...5 bunga of SAM (beh paiseh..)

Dimsum-ing @ Seremban

Goodbye and all the best ppl..

Thanks for all the wonderful memories

&

~ will miss ya' all ~

Time to Run

Sometimes i wish i can run.

i want to run away;
away from the people,
away from all the impossible dreams,
away from the throbbing pain that doesn't seems to stop,
away from the endless world.

i just want to run away from all the problems and stress that keep pulling me down like quicksand.

SAM finally ended and i thought i had the chance to be who i wanted to be, but as it turns out i'm not given the opportunity anymore.


Follow your heart, that's what they said.
Yet in the end, they denied me of my passion.

how?
Tell me how.

because now, I just feel like running away from all these.


- - - -


people expect.

they expect you to be this, and they expect you to be that.

and when you don't live up to their expectations,
they criticise and they label.

and sometimes we just worry too much about what they want from us.
there are times when i just sit there by myself and wonder: if everyone else's opinion is what matters, then do you ever really have one of your own?

-

i know that a change can do one wonders, but for the time being i like sticking to who i am. so what i am. So what if people think whatever they think of me?
As long as i think i'm good enough, then i am.





Recently i haven't been in the mood to blog much.

sigh...

so i guess most probably my post-count will decrease for these few days.
gracelim might go hiatus again for a while...

see you guys when I've got something nice to share.

After Chemistry Exam...(last paper)

genting trip 16-18/11

The male S.H.E....lolx

- more photos coming in...stay tune ~

It is what it is

I do certainly hope that the articles about Panadol is a complete bullshit.

Panadol is toxic to the body, and it harms the liver. According to the doctor, Panadol will reside in the body for at least 5 years. If that's the fact, I guess the amount of Panadol taken by me will reside in my body until the day I die.


I don't understand why some people thinks that its very "pantang" to talk about death. To me, people do not think very much about death. They spend their lives worrying about absurdities; they put things off, and fail to notice important moments. They don't take risks, because they think it's dangerous. They complain a lot, but are afraid to take action. They want everything to change, but they themselves refuse to change.


If they thought a little more about death, they would never forget to make that much-postponed phone call. They would be a little crazier. they would not be afraid of this incarnation coming to an end, because you cannot fear something that is going to happen anyway.


The Indians say: 'Today is a good day as any to leave this world.' and a wise man once said: 'death is always sitting by your side so that, when you need to do something important, it will give you the strength and the courage that you need.'


I hope that you, dear reader, have got this far. It would be foolish to be frightened by death, because all of us, sooner or later, are going to die. and only those who accept this fact are prepared for life.

South Australian Matriculation Public exam are up in less than 4 days.

The pressure's getting heavier and heavier by the minute.

(>_<) - ģяaceliм™ will soon be hiatus for the next couple of weeks or so.

will be back. bear with me, love!

The Biggie World

I felt it.
the differences.

the childishness,
the narrowness,

jumping around,
and asking a thousand why.
a thousand silly questions.

and i hate of being it.

and i feel...
SO EMPTY & LONELY now.
need L.O.V.E. Drug (chocolates i mean...)

to cheer me up.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- MUZ GET LIST -

Barbra...barbra..barbra *omg...i love her so so muchie*I'm so addicted to those songs in Mamma Mia Movie..

Birthday Girl

Yoo-Hoo....I finally turned 18.

Thank you very much for those who actually wished me thru msn, skype, friendster, facebook, sms and calls. Really appreciated that....

Some may judge me as a silly lil girl because people don't wish to get older but not me. I've been waiting for the day to come and finally it's here !!

I'm 18 !!
I'm legal for liquor, smoking & sex ~ yeehaaaa......



~ Unforgettable birthday celebration anyway ~